Beloved

“My wife Nicole, was a warmhearted friend of everyone here…”

My husband’s lips are smiling, but I see the tear clinging under his bright eyes, resisting from falling. I could feel how much time and emotion he put to write such a piece.

I want to wipe his eyes with the napkin that he gave me in our first wedding anniversary.

I want to whisper not to be so sad.

I want to give him the chocolate cake that I made whenever he felt depressed.

I want to….

Despite my bitter heart, HE CANNOT SEE ME in the first place.

It is one warm day in March, 2120. People dressed in purple come in to the park with flower bouquets in their hands. My favorite color was purple when I was alive – I felt my heart pounding when I saw anything that has purple – and I guess that is the reason why my husband set the dress code of my funeral as purple. I am a little angry that my husband didn’t put roses – my favorite flowers – next to my portrait. I take a closer look at the flower bouquets. I notice that they are all the same. I try to hear what people are saying. At that moment, my husband explains people the reason why the flowers named “Fairy Star” were required to be brought instead of roses.

“Roses represent ardent love. I am the only one who loved her ardently and I am the only one who can and did give her millions of roses throughout her entire life, and I still will, from now on, give her hundreds of roses every year until I die. You might wonder why I told you people to bring Fairy Star. This flower has the meaning of memories, eternal love, and permanent remembrance. I hope you to remember Nicole forever as the way she is currently in your heart. Her every words and actions shouldn’t change their form in your memories. …”

I see my friends from US and Korea, my companions of the broadcast station where I worked at, my son, my daughters, and my grandchildren. I want to make an eye-contact with every single person who came to see me, but I can’t. I just satisfy with the fact that I at least can see them before leaving. Among hundreds of people that I know, I noticed vie people that I have never seen before. I rubbed my eyes and looked at them again; I could not notice. I tried to go through my memory of 120 years; I could not remember. I went closer to hear their voices. I suddenly remembered that I have signed to the Organ Donation Agreement when I was a college student. I intuitively noticed that they were the ones who are living new lives with my donation. A girl with my heart, a boy with my kidney, a man with my eye, a woman with my skin, and an old woman with my body tissue. I felt proud that I gave people the new opportunity to live a new life, exultant to see them living healthily and happily, and graceful to my well health.

When looking at five people, the warm smile did not leave my face and felt like I am still not dead – just like living eternally.

“…Nicole did not live a fancy or showy life, but definitely was a person whom many people wanted to have a meal with. She was a good listener, good speaker, and a person with warm, sympathetic heart. She thought about others’ feelings more than about her own feelings. Many people were, are, and will be always around her. Nicole will be beloved by everyone here forever.”